A letter to myself in ten years

Dear Cynthia,

When you're reading this, you must be 35 already. I won't try to imagine what your career and family life will look like by then, I just hope you live to read this letter. It's what we've been striving for all along, haven't we? To survive.

We haven't had the easiest of lives, and I know you have found it hard to forgive the past and trust in the future. Many friends have come and gone, many were battles won and lost. To be honest, everything you've set your eyes on so far has been reached by you, but we both know it didn't help to fill this endless hole in your heart. I don't expect the future to be different, I just hope you find peace with this reality.

Most of all, I hope you at least managed to hold on to those who were good for you. Your family, your Fredinators and your UK gang. It was always hard for you to relate with others, you always felt like an alien in your own world. Right now you may wish to push people away again, like you always do. It's a good thing you've made some stubborn friends, but I know part of you will always wonder when they'll wake up and leave.

All I can hope for is that you'll start believing. Believing that the present reality can make you happy, believing that you're not too much, that you deserve to be here like everybody else. I hope this knowledge pushes you to find joy in life again, to do what you want in life, and to open up as the true you to those you love.

Kind regards,

Me